So, I was minding my own business the other day, and into my e-mail inbox pops an e-mail from Santa Claus.
Santa was asking for my advice.
(Play along with me here! Ha)
Here was Santa’s e-mail:
– – – –
Dear Brandon,
In case you hadn’t heard, my overhead has shot sky high here at the North Pole. The elves have formed a union, and demanded an expensive health care package.
Not to mention that my health hasn’t been too great lately, and I can’t stand to have a drawn out fight with the elves.
Also, the cost of raw materials has shot up and the transportation costs to the North Pole have been choking.
Do you have any advice for this old man? I belong to your e-mail list and have enjoyed your insight, wisdom, and your humor. You sure know how to write a gripping and delightful electronic message!
Yours truly,
Santa C.
– – – –
Here is my reply:
* * * *
Dear Santa,
Thank you for the kind words!
Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF): You need to look for an additional income stream, that’s for sure!
Here’s what I recommend: look for frac sand up north.
1. Once the holidays are done, and some of the snow has melted in northern Canada and Russia, tell the elves that you are “going out for some fresh air.” Then take your sleigh around in those northern areas, and look for large sand deposits.
2. Dig down below the surface, and take about 5 lbs of sand out, and bag it up. Make sure that you use a GPS to mark exactly where you are getting the sand from.
3. Send the sand to me, and I’ll put together a testing package for you. Yes, I will wash the sand, perform a sieve analysis, do sphericity and roundness testing, and also acid solubility for just a few bucks. This will really let you know if that sand is worth further testing.
4. If we find a promising deposit, we can do additional testing and then start marketing the sand. I have several colleagues we can work with to sell the sand, and I am developing a marketplace for sand mines myself.
5. Using your “powers of persuasion,” you can work out a deal with the landowners, giving them a royalty while you pocket the rest of the dough from whoever buys the sand. Don’t tell the elves about this income stream!
Good sir, those are my two “bitcoins” on the subject of increasing your revenue using your location and tools at hand.
By the way, thanks ahead of time for the nice wool socks that you bring me every year!
To a prosperous 2014,
Brandon D.
* * * *
So, there is my advice to Santa on an ingenious way to improve his financial health.
Happy Holidays to you as well !
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